The Red Tent

My parents are going through all of the photos and digitizing them. It has been so funny to look at the out dated outfits and hairdos. I asked my mom several times, "Why did you let me go out like that?" I can't help but think of how cool I thought I dressed. I have three older sisters and I wanted to wear whatever they were wearing. It didn't matter that the clothes were 4 sizes too big and that the hair style was far beyond my ability at the time to pull off. If my sisters were doing it, so was I!

There came a time where we were all able to share clothes and shoes. Even now that we are all grown, and live in different houses, one in a different State, we are still trading clothes and shopping in each others closets.

My sisters, and my mom, have become my closest friends. We are "the girls". I treasure all of our differences and similarities. We have many difference that would normally cause people to grow apart, but surprisingly it has strengthen us in many ways. Our differences have allowed us to learn how to love each other without conditions When we are together it is as if we can conquer any feminine issue the world can throw at us. We are our own "Red Tent" community. I love my "girls"!

My baby girl now knows a great word, "NO"!! She now has to say it before she will do or eat or say anything!! It is her automatic response. I could be offering her ice cream and she would tell me NO as she opens her mouth for the spoonful. I can't help but giggle to myself. Out of all the words we share between us she focuses on the negative one. ( maybe it is the frequency of its use, but I still don't think it is THAT imbalanced.)

We sing, talk, read, and play using many great words of praise and delight, but I don't hear her walking around saying I love you, yay, or so pretty! It is NO! So many times I find myslf doing the same thing. I focus on the negative. I could be having a great day but the most minor bad thing happens and my hour if not my afternoon is ruined. I think I would rather be singing my songs and remembering all my playing and joy in the day and quickly forget the Nos and the can'ts!!

Their shoes

I went to a funeral this weekend for an uncle on my husband's side. It was a beautiful service and was great to see so much family and loved ones. I kept thinking of how it will be when my generation will be the oldest in the family. Will we be able to keep the ties close and lead the coming generation?

I recognize now I have taken for granted the leadership and responsibility my parents and their generation has for the family as a whole. How we gather as a family at their homes and turn to them for guidance.

I know my husband and I are the leaders of our own family but there has always been a higher matriarch or patriarch to take on the family as a complete entity. Not to far off there will nothing "older or wiser" than us. So will I be what my parents, aunts and uncles, and grandparents were to me? Will I be able to fill their shoes as they have?

I ONLY HOPE!

To get dressed or not to get dressed

Okay so here is the thing. I decided before I got married that I would not "let myself go", well not too much. I didn't completely decide this for the sake of my husband, I really felt that I would continually feel better about me if I paid a attention to my appearance daily. I should do my hair, put make up on, and wear something more than sweat pants and sneaks ( even if they are really cute sweats.)

But as my days are presently uneventful and the company I have is my 18 month old, who couldn't care less about how I look as long as I am holding her( a whole other posting) my motivation is dwindling. I feel a little silly vacuuming or cleaning my fridge all dressed up. So many days like today I ask the question to get dressed or not. Most days I find a happy medium. Wear the sweats but put a little make up on. Or get dressed but pull up my hair. I guess you could say this allows me to feel as though my days are worth getting ready for!

Composer

You know the phrase, "everything happens for a reason"? I was thinking about it and I don't know if I'm a buyer. It seems when this expression is most commonly used it is referring to when a bad thing happens, that is out of our control, and people are trying to make sense of it. I would also dare to say they are figuring it out in relation to God and his plan for us. Hold your breath we are going deep:)!!

Do we take this path of thinking so it is easier for us to buy into the idea of God being a loving father and doesn't want us to suffer but orchestrates bad things to happen for our greater good? It may be me, but this seems a bit contradictory to the whole concept of God being all good and loving. As I understand how love should be, and I think I have convincing scriptural evidence, love is strictly excluded from the company of manipulation and coercion. So if God is love, then he would not manipulate our lives even if it is for our own good. I don't think God plays by the rule, the end justifies the means.

So I don't think God is the composer of bad happening in our lives. I and all humanity have our free agency and we create the state of the world in which we live in. Bad things happen because people make bad or unpleasant choices, or things just go wrong and we are affected. So my point is to not confuse the occurrences of the world with the happenings of God because he is able to take a negative and turn it into a positive in our lives. THAT is LOVE. THAT is GOOD.

exponentially

I come from a large family. I am child number eight out of nine. All of us children are grow now with families of our own. Thus giving my parents 31 grand kids and still counting. If each grandchild would have 3 kids that would produce 93 great grand kids. And if each one of those had only 2 kids the GRAND total would be 186. I think you get the picture! In merely three generations 9 has grown to a staggering 310 people. This is only my side of the family, my husband has 7 siblings!! All of a sudden the concept of family and family relationships expands to include as many people as a small village.

This concept of things that start out small( okay 9 is not so small) and metamorphosing into something far grander was so basic and even boring to me until I applied it to something I could relate too . The simple ripple effect put into action. To take this now profound principle a little deeper, the small acts and choices that I make today could be exponentially much greater in consequence down the road, for better or for worse. This being an "ah ha" moment for me I think I will take the time to consider my present behavior and mindset so I will have the proper idea of how I am effecting my future.

skid knee

I am always amazed when I see a toddler take a tumble and get right back up as if they didn't fell down in the first place. They are such champs!! So as a child we naturally pick ourselves up, dust off, and continue to move forward. When in life do we cripple or even lose that ability all together?

Are we truly products of our environment? And if so, is our environment actually that powerful to take such a consequential characteristic away from us. Is a skid knee really that bad to live with therefore, we avoid even the most minor fall in our lives?
Most the time skid knees only hurt for a short while and leaves no permanent evidence of its occurrence. Even on the occasion when we fall and the gravel and dirt are embedded inside so we have to go through the painful process of scrubbing it out, it is will not end up being a fatal wound. It could leave a gnarly scar but even the deepest scars fade with time.

So lets be as little children and not let skid knees stop us from getting up, dusting off and moving forward.

Sick Day

I missed posting Friday, so sorry if anyone is reading these:) I was under the weather. I had to eliminate all unnecessary activities to preserve the energy to perform only the essentials, like feeding my kids, making sure they are out of their PJs by noon, and I have at least brushed my teeth. I really should take this opportunity to apologize to my husband, because literally that is the extent of my personal grooming this weekend!

I could have really used a sick day! Wouldn't it be great if mommies could called in sick. If we could have seven days annually that we could use to stay in bed and get well, and have it not be deducted out of our pay. Oh wait a minute, we don't get paid anyway! Do you think if write to congress we could get something passed. ( I have heard of more bizarre laws and things congress passes and spends money on.)

Well mommies take your vitamins and wash your hands, cause as we already know, we get no sick days and probably won't anytime soon!